wow! hello there!
a lot’s happened in the last four years, so much that I forgot to write anything here.
Global pandemic wasn’t easy. I’m grateful that so many people were largely unaffected; at the same time, I know how many people were affected & I’m certainly saddened by that, but the impact is hard to gauge. We don't really have reference for something like this, so I think it’s still taking some time for society, economics & culture to adjust. The reset may be a long one but I’ve already seen some evidence to suggest that it’s underway.
As things go, I’m doing really well these days. My performance schedule is a bit less packed than it was four years ago, but I’m more than all right with that. I’ve been on a journey of spiritual and emotional refocusing that has changed everything for me. It informs my music in ways I did anticipate. It’s not that anything has changed musically, but that I have a handle on more aspects of my psyche in the alpha state than ever. It’s a process to go from young & restless to older & jaded, then from older and jaded to seasoned and peaceful, but it’s a necessary one.
Big, big things are in the works but they will take time. Was fortunate to reconnect with some old friends last night at the old (+ new) NYC haunts, something I don’t do much these days. Being grateful and mindful requires an awareness of what is, not what could be, that doesn’t really lend itself to putting one’s self out there. I’ve been blessed with new people who fit my life in amazing new ways, and it has left me wanting for nothing. Still, it’s good to get out, stretch my legs, and play some tunes. I don’t always have a good time doing it but I did last night. (Shout out Jon Elbaz for the alchemy, as usual.)
Some of the new developments have been quite senseless. In particular, I’d like to call attention to the life and music of Karim Rome, who passed last week at the age of 30. Karim and I started at Hartt one year apart from each other. He is a special soul whose love, passion, and creativity were apparent. His tone was naturally like Carter Jefferson’s, edgy and bright but heavy, like a tenor Jackie McLean. I always wanted to know what he was working on, but I wasn’t always around to see it manifested. I assumed we’d do great things together for a long time. It hit me all at once at the funeral, and has now sort of tapered off back into denial. As I said to his father yesterday, “I don’t grieve in a straight line.” Fitting. I don’t live in a straight line either. There’s always some obstacle, some road block that changes my relationship with everything. This wasn’t one of them, but perhaps it informed my gratitude for all of the wonderful people, moments, and blessings in my life. I am beyond grateful. I have reached a sort of complete state of goodness, where everything makes sense & I can add to everyone in my life without issue or imbalance.
Sacrifice is the yin to gratitude’s yang. As I said a few nights ago to an old friend, in the presence of a new friend who it is an honor to know, “I’m an artist. What do I give a f—-?” This is not to suggest some new feeling of apathy, dismissiveness, or egoism, but instead to say that being an artist is freedom, and freedom comes at the price of making sacrifices in order to have clarity. I cannot explain all of the sacrifices I have made to everyone involved, but I can have the clarity that arises from them. The search for clarity is perpetual.
I am better for all of the trials of the last ten years. Soon enough, you’ll see what I have cooking in the lab…..until then, I hope you have a blessed, grateful, joyful day, filled with purpose and love.